Cursed Ground

She cocked the gun. “Shut up!” She could hear Jacob’s screams even now. They were a song that played over and over and over again. Mommy! He’d screamed, begged her to save him… and she’d failed.

“Oh God.” She crouched, pain clawing at her insides. The truth punched her so hard in the face she could barely stand, much less breathe.

She was to blame. It was her fault. Her son had died screaming for her to save him and she’d failed him. She had killed her son, allowed him to die because she had been so paralyzed with shock and fear that she’d sacrificed his life for hers.

“Please. Just drop the gun. You don’t want to do this.”

Tears streamed down her face. “Six bullets say I do. You could’ve at least had the decency to clean up after yourself. Do you have any idea what that does to a person… to a mother? You killed my little boy!” Each conviction grew louder and by the time she’d finished speaking her voice was saturated with rage.

“I can explain!”

Mommy!

She closed her eyes, trying to deafen the screams of terror that assaulted her with relentless force. “Jacob… I’m so sorry.” She released the round of bullets on the target in front of her. His body dropped to the ground like a lead balloon, and once she was convinced he was dead she let the gun topple to the floor. The deed was done. But even now that it was over, now that she’d avenged her son’s death, the screams persisted. “Oh God… just let me die. I need to die.”

Why wouldn’t they stop?

Stop!

They were never going to stop.

She screamed to silence them and when peace finally resonated within the room she came face to face with a raw reality. How could she go on living when there was nothing left to live for? Every minute ticking away. Ticking ticking ticking. Clawing through her—sharp pains. Pain after pain after pain. Never a moment of peace. Every moment pain.

Her eyes focused in on the gun and she knew what she had to do.